A New Leaf and a New Blog

At this time, we feel it's appropriate to start a new blog to celebrate a new page in our lives. We'll continue to post updates of Zoe and her latest adventures at www.adventuresofmisszoe.blogspot.com.  Make sure to update your favorites.  

We also just want to reiterate our thanks and appreciation to everyone who has followed our story.  We know that many folks, including people who we don't know, have watched Zoe's progress and are thinking about her.  It has helped us (and Zoe) to have the support of so many. We know that the struggles of having a micro preemie do not end here, but we feel so blessed to have her with us and can hardly remember our lives without her.  We will also never forget our little Sawyer and are currently working on plans to honor and memorialize his life.   

Please keep in touch on the new blog!  Love to all.

After 6 1/2 Long Months...

Zoe is finally off of oxygen support.  We took her off on Thursday and so far so good.  We are still monitoring her a few times a day and at night to make sure she doesn't need to go back on. We are keeping our fingers crossed.  She seems to love it.  She keeps reaching up to her face to grab her tube, but it's not there!  She's also gaining weight (as you can tell in the picture) and is just over 11 pounds now.  We still have to encourage her to eat a lot.  It's not her favorite thing to do due to the acid reflux, but we are hopeful that that will go away soon.  

Look What I Learned!

I hate tummy time soooo much, that I had to learn a new trick.  

The Many Faces of Zoe

Time Goes By - 6 MONTHS!!

Sorry it has been so long since our last post.  I have no idea where the time goes, but wherever it went, it went there very fast.  We are having a blast with Zoe.  She gets more fun by the day.  She started giggling and cooing recently and it just adds to her already happy personality.  She is normally pretty happy, except when we are dealing with her reflux.  It's been pretty bad, but we have switched up her medicine and we think it's making a difference.  She doesn't necessarily like to eat very much because of the reflux, but she is slowly gaining weight still.  We can hardly believe that she is almost 11 pounds.  She of course looks huge to us, but she is still a little peanut.  We are hoping to get her off of oxygen in the next couple of weeks, which will be amazing for her and us.

Zoe turned 6 months old on Saturday.  It is amazing to think about how much she has gone through to be where she is today.  Her adjusted age is still closer to 2 1/2 months though and we will continue to go by her adjusted age for the first couple of years until she "catches up".  She is right on track.

Big Bath Tub

Zoe loves baths, but was a little bit wary of being in the big tub with mom.  She ended up loving it!!  And she was almost trying to float.

Our Little Peach

Zoe loved riding in the cart to pick peaches.  Grandma and Grandpa knew the best spot and we got 2 big boxes of peaches.  We've made lots of pies!  

Brrrrr

Shannon and Alex are doing a great job showing Zoe the ropes at Dabob.  Too bad she couldn't have any of the yummy blackberry cobbler that her Great Aunt Janet made.

Warm in Dad's Sleeping Bag

Zoe's First Camping Trip

Alright, so some folks might think we are a bit crazy to go camping with our peanut, but we actually thought it would be great weather for Labor Day weekend.  Our mistake.  We did spend the night at our property on Dabob Bay on the Hood Canal last weekend.  It got pretty cold, but Zoe didn't mind at all since she got to sleep with mom in her sleeping bag all night!  Zoe loves being outside and loved getting to spend some time with her cousins, Alex and Shannon.  

Zoe is doing great.  She's almost 10 pounds now.  She will be on oxygen for another month or two we think, but we are definitely getting used to hauling the tank around.  We're starting some physical therapy to work out some tightness in her neck.  Most preemies have a preference for one side of their head to lay on since in the NICU, they are often approached from the right side. Her neck is a little tight therefore on one side, but the physical therapy should help that.  Other than that, she is doing great developmentally.  We're continuing to work on breastfeeding and feel hopeful that she'll soon be able to breastfeed full-time.  

We are happy as can be with our little bug's progress.  

More to come!

Go Hawks!

No, I didn't let her drink any of that beer.

Happy

Learning To Smile

It's amazing how a smile can help relieve some of the heartache from the last five months.

The Family

From the June 25th photo shoot at the hospital

Zo-Bug and Mom

This was taken on June 25th - Zoe's 2nd photo shoot in the hospital.  

Aunt Rachael and Cousin Charlotte

Lovin' Daddy

First Concert

First Weeks

We are definitely settling in to life at home with Zoe. We're learning how to navigate the world with her oxygen tank and trying to get outside a lot. She is growing very well. Her weight today was 8 lbs. 3 oz. She is right on target! We've been busy since we've been home - heading to our family property on Hood Canal for 2 day trips. She takes great naps outside. She's also been to two outdoor concerts at the Zoo. Don't worry everyone. We are also getting a lot of rest at home. Hope you enjoy some of the new pictures.

First Bath At Home

Watch Dog

Lovin' the Moby

First Days at Home

We are having so much fun with Zoe at home. We are focusing on trying to get to know her and spending as much cuddling time as possible with her. We feel like we have a lot of lost time to make up for. She loves being held which is good since we love holding her. Just wanted to put up some pictures of our first days with her. We've been out and about quite a bit.

Surprise!

Home!

We have been purposefully silent this week, anxiously awaiting the homecoming of Zoe. They gave us the decision on Monday to either try to wean her off of oxygen, which would likely mean a few more weeks in the hospital, or take her home on a little bit of oxygen support. We obviously jumped at the chance to take her home. We got discharged last night and loved every moment of our first sleepless night. Zoe is doing very well at home. We went on our first walk around Green Lake with her today with some friends. We loved having her outside in the fresh air.

Gotta run! More later.

100 Days

We can hardly believe that we are here. July 4th, Zoe and Sawyer's original due date, and 100 days into this journey. Yesterday, on day 99, exactly 14 weeks after Zoe was born, and at 6:38pm, the same time she was born, she was transferred out of intensive care and downstairs to the infant special care unit. This is a major step toward homecoming and we are totally shocked that we have made it this far. Zoe has made incredible leaps and bounds this week and is doing very well. She is on minimal oxygen on her nasal canula, getting all of her feeds through breastfeeding or bottle feeding, and is looking downright anxious to get out of the hospital.

It was with very mixed feelings that we left the NICU. We have made some good friends there - the doctors, the nurses, the respiratory therapists, the secretaries, and even some of the janitorial service. We have spent countless hours there, crying, laughing, sitting quietly, grieving, and more. Through it all, our friends upstairs have been with us and we really treasure them for this. It is very hard to thank people who have saved the life of your child. What do you say? Thank you thank you thank you. We will never forget you on the 6th floor!

I know everyone is anxious to know when Zoe will come home - and that includes us! We will keep you all posted. We are hopeful that it will be soon. Now, we just need to get her room done!

Chubby Baby

Hangin' Out

This is one of Zoe's favorite nurses, Nadine. She is an incredible person and takes amazing care of our baby girl.

Sleepy

Thanks for the hat, Abby! And thanks for the cowgirl blanket Lexie!

Amazing

Zoe has really surprised us all in the past few days. Last week, we were really just sort of maintaining and not making a ton of progress and this week, things look really promising. On Friday, the doctor decided to take her off of vapotherm, even though she wasn't doing great. We needed to start getting her to take her feeds orally because some babies can have a really tough time learning if they don't practice before 42 weeks. She went on the nasal canula on Friday and is still on the canual, gradually being weaned down on her oxygen. She is also taking most of her feeds orally, either by breastfeeding or by bottle. She is a champ at eating! It does take a lot of energy out of her, so we need to monitor it so she doesn't do too much.

At this point, she is a feeder-grower. Neil and I never thought we would get here. It has been 97 days and we finally are able to see the end. Because of our experience with the NICU, we are trying to be cautiously optimistic, because she can obviously still have setbacks, but that is difficult, if not impossible. We will keep you all posted as her progress pushes us closer to home.

Pondering Escape

Jail Bird

Slackin'

We have really been slackin' on the blog lately. Sorry about that! I have been getting in trouble from lots of folks for not updating more often. This stage in the game is pretty torturous because it seems we are just waiting. It is hard to be patient when we've been patient for 3 months, but there is more testing ahead. There is not a huge amount to report. Zoe did make the 5 lb. mark on Thursday night and now weighs 5 lbs. 5 oz. She is getting lots of good fat rolls and has chubby, very kissable cheeks.

She is still on vapotherm and maintaining her oxygen needs. We are just waiting for her to start progressing so we can eventually get her off pressured oxygen and onto a simple nasal canula. We will be sure to take some new pictures and post them. She is getting very cute!

Another Try

On Friday, the docs decided it was time to try Zoe off of the CPAP again. This time, instead of going straight to a regular canula, they put her on a high-flow canula (vapotherm). She's doing well so far and we really hope she doesn't have to go back on CPAP. She really hates it, as you all know, and constantly tries to pull it off of her face. She's persistent for sure.

In other exciting news, Zoe weighs 4 1/2 lbs now. They put her on a longer-term diuretic because she kept retaining fluid and was having to take stronger diuretic. So, her weight gain is steadier now at about an ounce a day. We also started trying to breastfeed once a day and so far she is doing amazingly well. She can actually breathe, suck, and swallow at the same time. That might sound like an easy task, but for preemies, that can be a huge challenge. She must like breathing a lot because she never forgets. It definitely takes a lot of energy for her to work for her food so we limit it to short stretches, but as she gets bigger and has more energy, we will try more often.

We're 80 days into this thing and are finally started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We've got a ways to go, but with Zoe making steady progress, we are getting more excited about the prospect of bringing her home.

A Good Effort

Well, Zoe gave it her all on nasal canula, but it was just too much, too soon. She made it about 24 hours on the canula, before they had to put her back on CPAP. She was very tuckered out after such hard work on the canula and has spent the weekend recuperating. They are hoping that she will just have to be on CPAP for a little while and then they will wean her more slowly next time. We were very proud of her for her effort and we know that her time will come when she no longer needs a lot of support. We will keep you all posted on her progress toward that goal.

Just Hangin' Out

Happy Baby

Zo Bug

Guess What?

We are happy to report that Zoe is now over 4 lbs! 4 lbs. 1.6 oz.! We felt like we would never make it to this point, but she did it. We also had some other exciting news today. The docs had been talking about getting her off CPAP next week; however, this morning when we went to the hospital, they not only had her off CPAP, but they were trying her on nasal canula instead of vapotherm. Vapotherm is still pressurized air, but a step down from CPAP. Nasal canula is just enriched air with oxygen, no pressure. This is a gigantic step for Zoe - it means she is doing all of the work to inflate her lungs. We are trying not to get too excited about this because it is a good possibility she will have to be put on vapotherm when she tires out, but we are really glad they decided to try her on it. She is much more comfortable as she doesn't need to wear the mask and helmet. What a relief for her to get that thing off of her face. We will keep you all posted on how she does off the CPAP. Wish her luck and strong lungs!

A Parent's Bias

Isn't she cute? I know all parents think their kids are super cute and we are no different. We can stare for hours at her in her crib, just marveling at how cute and alert and amazing she is! Zoe is doing very well - almost like a different baby this time off of the vent. She tolerates her breaks off the mask very well, is requiring a low amount of oxygen, and is overall much stronger. We are still waiting for them to wean down the pressure on her CPAP in the hopes of getting her off CPAP altogether, but we know that we have to be patient. She still has a lot of growing to do. She weighs 3 pounds 10 ounces now and is consistently putting on weight each day. She's somewhat of a slow-grower, but we're hoping that she takes off here soon and really starts getting bigger.

She liked her bath yesterday. After a brief moment of mixed feelings, she settled into it and was super alert and happy the whole time. She should be getting baths about once a week now as she is more stable so we will look forward to that. It's one of the closest moments we can have with her and we treasure it.

It is harder to leave her nowadays. I think having her in a real crib instead of the incubator symbolizes one step closer to home - like she is more like our baby and less like the hospital's baby. I know it's going to get even harder as she gets stronger and bigger. Luckily, they put an anti-theft device on her ankle to ward off potential baby stealers! I think they mainly have to worry about me though.

Clean Baby

Bath Time

New Digs

Zoe TV

A New Bed

Zoe is now using an open crib instead of her old incubator. She is able to regulate her temperature better and is in the open air. The nurses also started dressing her. It was nice to walk into the familiar NICU and see Zoe in a new crib wearing a cute little outfit.


She is still on CPAP and seems to be doing pretty well with it this time around. We hope she continues to tolerate it, and they can lower her pressure setting. We will see what happens.

8 Weeks

Off the Vent

The doctors decided enough was enough with the vent and extubated Zoe on Sunday morning. She is doing well off the vent. We can tell that she is really happy to get that tube out of her throat, although it was replaced by the annoying CPAP on her face. She's getting so much stronger so she can really display just how unhappy she is with the situation. Her oxygen needs are lower than they have been in a while. Her chest xrays still show some partial collapse, so she still needs to grow new lung tissue to ensure she won't go back on the ventilator. We are hoping this was the last run-in with it, but we will see. It's all up to her.

A nice bonus of being off the ventilator is that we can hold her. I got some quality holding time today with her. She is so much bigger now than she was 3 weeks ago. It felt nice to have her in my arms again. She fell quickly asleep and rested soundly for over an hour with me.

A Step Backward

Sorry it has been a week since our last post! We know folks are anxiously awaiting an update. After an encouraging week, Zoe started struggling a bit more on her breathing and requiring more oxygen support. She was having more events where her oxygen saturation level was below where they like to see it. The doctors really wanted to keep her off the ventilator and tried hard to do so, but unfortunately, she just needed a vacation from all of her hard work on CPAP. They reintubated her on Sunday morning. At this point in the game, it was very hard to see her put back on the ventilator since it feels like a huge step backward. But I think we all have to remember that she is still 6 weeks away from her original due date so her lungs are just really immature still. She needs energy and time to grow and the ventilator should help her do that. They hope to take her off as soon as she starts showing signs of progress. This could be a week or a couple of weeks - depends on her. She has been gaining weight more now that she is on the ventilator and weighs 3 lbs. 4 oz. now. She is putting her energy into getting bigger instead of breathing so that is a good thing. She is still her lively, adorable, and inquisitive self and we just hope that her lungs repair themselves so she can be taken off the ventilator for good.

Finally!

Zoe finally made it to the 3 pound mark yesterday. We are so excited for this milestone. She is also now receiving bolus feeds; instead of a continuous drip, she gets her milk over a 15-30 minute period. She is tolerating this new system really well. It is more like a regular baby would eat so it makes us feel like we are just a little bit closer to having her home. She got her first bath today too! I could tell she was a little shocked by the whole experience, but I think she truly enjoyed it. She seemed a bit scared, but calmed right down when I talked to her. I got to soap her up, wash her hair, cuddle her, brush her hair - all without lines, leads, or tubes. It was amazing to see her detached from all of this stuff. She was wide awake for her bath, but fell soundly asleep once we got her tucked in. She smells much better.

She still has pretty high oxygen needs, but with time and growth, she'll grow new lung tissue and gradually be weaned off. We still have a long way to go, but being 7 weeks into this, we are getting our routine down. Zoe is so mellow and curious and loving; we just can't wait to get her home!

Kangaroo Care for Zoe

Days of our Lives

Thanks for the lift, Dad

My First Mother's Day

I believe in making the most of a difficult situation and so I held my baby girl for an hour and a half this morning, thoroughly enjoying my first Mother's Day. It obviously was not exactly how I pictured it but we had a good time nonetheless, thanks to her wonderful nurses. Zoe had a great day today. She even managed to take some time away to make me a card with her hand prints and foot prints on it. Very cute - she is already a thoughtful little girl. She lost some water weight this week, but is slowly starting to put on real weight and is back up to 2 lbs. 13 oz. We are anxiously waiting for the 3 lb. mark!

Ups and Downs

As you all know, this is a roller coaster of an experience. I think I've said before what an understatement that is. It's true - nothing can prepare you for it. Zoe's been off the ventilator for almost a week now and has her good days and her not so good days. She's got preemie lungs - lungs that are damaged from being so early and needing oxygen support. She'll grow more lung tissue, but it takes time and all that will really help her is growing. So, this past week, she has had her good days and bad days. Today was a good day and her oxygen needs were down slightly. She got her first eye exam today which she definitely did not like. They're checking for retinopathy of prematurity, which is essentially abnormal blood vessels growing on the retina. Everything looks o.k. so far, but her eyes are still immature so they'll check again in a couple of weeks.

Zoe looks amazing. She is alert and really getting a personality. She gets angry when we all mess with her which she typically displays by getting very red all over and making a seriously mad face. She doesn't cry much, but definitely shows her dissatisfaction in other ways. She has been processing food (a.k.a pooping) really well. In fact, today, she had four dirty diapers in a row!

She weighs about 2 lbs. 14 oz. now and we're hoping to get her to 3 lbs. soon. We can't wait to show her off to all of you, but we've got a long way to go. She really is amazing and we are so proud of her every day.

I'm Getting Bigger

5 Weeks, 1200 Grams

Story Time

We are cautiously optimistic, but things do seem to be going better.

Zoe is gaining weight every day, and now weights 1180 grams or 2 lbs. 9.5 ounces. She is progressing on her feeding regime, and is half way to full feeds. She was at full feeds before the nasty infection came, and everyone seems to think she will have no problems achieving this again. She also had a little poo in her diaper; good sign that things are being processed.

Zoe is back on CPAP, the constant pressure mask that assists her breathing. We watched the transition off the ventilator, and she looked happy and comfortable with the change. We hope she stays on CPAP or progresses to a nasal cannula.

As I have said for the last few weeks, the next week will tell us a lot. We hope she gets to full feeds without problems, excels on CPAP, and does not run into any more roadblocks.

We also started reading to her every night. We hope that she recognizes our voices and is comforted by our presence. So far, she seems relaxed and enjoys the story. There really is very little we can do but wait and be there. Story time helps us and her.

Daddy Time

Zoe continues to do well today. We are still waiting for her system to start moving food through her belly - hopefully that will happen soon. Yesterday, she got a clean condo and Neil got to hold her while they were changing that out. He held her for about 40 minutes or so. She was perfectly content the entire time. She had her eyes wide open and was looking around, checking everything out and truly enjoying her time being held. She fell soundly asleep after about 20 minutes. Her heart rate came down, her breathing leveled out, and she was very peaceful. It is a good sign that she tolerates being held well. Of course, I forgot my camera, so I didn't get the first picture of that, but we'll have to recreate it in the future, many times.

Phew!

It is so much more fun to go to the hospital when your baby is doing well. Zoe has officially gotten rid of that nasty infection. It was a tough one, but not tougher than our Little Gorilla. She is feeling so much better. She has great energy and has even managed to put on some serious weight, gaining 70 grams last night to put her at 1,040 grams or 2 lbs. 5 oz. The next big hurdle is to reintroduce her to breast milk (which they started again last night) and get her to 1,200 grams. The docs say that that magic number seems to be a turning point with the smallest babies- we are excited to get there.

It has been a stressful 10 days with Zoe being sick and we are thankful to be on this side of it. Another hurdle down. Zoe wanted me to tell you all that she really appreciated the positive wishes and prayers. She realizes she gave us all a little bit of a scare and will try to avoid that in the future.

One Month

When we entered the NICU, one doctor told us that there are many steps or checkpoints that are significant. The first 72 hours, one week, one month and then two months. Zoe has made it one month and we are proud of her for that.

She seems to be improving every day. We wanted to hold off on writing until we have a negative blood culture for 72 hours. We are close, she has gone about 56 hours and no infection has grown in her last blood draw. Previous blood draws began to show signs of growth much sooner. Our fingers are crossed.

She is still very active during her care times, and she continues to need little support with her breathing. If everything proceeds as we hope, the doctors want to restart breast milk feeding and extubate soon. We are cautiously optimistic.

It is nice to finally hear good news. We will write more soon.

Happy 1 month little Zoe!!!

Still Fightin'

We were convinced Zoe was finally over this bug since she looks and is acting so much better, but unfortunately, the blood cultures are still coming back positive. Sometimes when infections seem to linger, like this one, the bacteria can be growing on the catheters or other tissues or bones in the body. The antibiotics apparently have a hard time fighting infection when they are attached to plastic lines or embedded in bones or tissue. They have changed her antibiotics once again to hopefully get at these tough bacteria. If this doesn't work to cleanse her blood, they'll have to pull all of her lines. This is fine, it just means she has to get poked a lot to draw blood. They will also need to reduce the glucose level in her IV nutrition while she doesn't have a central line.

The good news is that she is obviously much better so these bugs are reacting to the antibiotics. It just may take more time for her to fully beat this thing. She is so close to being herself again, we are hopeful. Last night, the nurse encouraged me to try to calm her down and to bond with her by putting my hands on her and talking with her. She was awake for about fifteen minutes, giving Mom a chance to have a heart-to-heart with her about getting well soon. She really does know my voice - the miracle and specialness of this are more than I can explain. When she started fighting to keep her eyes open, I stopped talking, let her rest, and eventually tore myself away - tucking her in in my own way.

Takin' a Breather

Little Gorilla

We gave Zoe this nickname early on because we were so amazed by how much dark brown hair she had on her body. Of course, this hair usually comes off before birth, but she's still got hers for the time being. We're not exactly sure where she got it, but we're thinking it will get blonder as she gets older.

She is about the same today - still fighting an infection. Two of her cultures (blood and lung fluid) grew some type of staph bacteria. The doctors feel confident that the antibiotics are doing their job, but it's hard to wait for her to fully recover. As one of the doctors said today, a day feels like a week and a week feels like a year. Her numbers look good, she's just really exhausted from being sick.

Three Weeks

After a torturous day of waiting, we are happy to report that Zoe seems to be turning the corner on the infection. She still has a long way to go to get back to being herself, but we feel hopeful that she is recovering.

We went to the hospital this evening to check on her and she looked so much better to us. Her swelling was down, she was more active, she opened her eyes to look at us, and her vital signs were better. This was a dramatic improvement from this morning and from our last update.

She still has a long way to go to make up for the time lost to this sickness, but she is incredibly strong and we have to believe that she will continue to do well. As they say in the NICU, it's one step forward, three steps back. We are just beginning to understand what this means.

Oh, by the way, she passed the 2 pound mark and is weighing in at 2 lbs. 2 oz.

Struggling

We were procrastinating updating the blog so that we could give everyone some good news, but unfortunately we don't have much of it to report. On Monday, Zoe was really struggling on her breathing and had some significant events where the doctors had to bag her to make sure she was still getting enough oxygen. They decided she needed to go back on the ventilator to get the 2-week "tune-up" that babies this size often need. We were obviously disappointed, but they had warned us all along that this was likely to happen. We just thought our baby would be the exception.

The reintubation did not go as well as they would have liked. Her windpipe was swollen and they struggled to get the tube into her lungs. She made it through that, but Tuesday started showing signs that something else might be going on.

They now think she has an infection somewhere and started her on antibiotics yesterday. Like Sawyer, her blood cultures have come back negative. It makes it harder to fight an infection when they don't actually know what type it is. They had to stop her feeds on Monday night and they won't be able to restart them until she is well.

The doctors assure us that this is a common problem for babies this size, but we can't help but see the similarities between this and what Sawyer experienced. We are in the waiting game again, waiting for the antibiotics to work and for her to stabilize. It is hard to see her going through this. She has always been so feisty and alert and now she is very lethargic.

Sorry for the bad news, but we want to keep everyone informed. We hope she starts to improve, and we will keep everyone up to date. We know she is strong, and we are trying to stay optimistic.

Giving Thanks

Even through these most difficult days, Neil and I feel incredibly blessed by the love of friends and family. We are doing o.k., grieving for the loss of Sawyer, but hopeful for the future. It has been very comforting for us to read your posts and emails and know how much our family is in your thoughts. We will get through this.

We have probably become the nurse's worst nightmare though. We are so concerned for Zoe that we are calling and going to the hospital to check in on her a ton. Yesterday, she started to struggle a little bit on her CPAP. This is very common after a couple of weeks doing the work herself. Babies her size typically just get tuckered out. The doctors think she is also having more apnea because as her feeds go up in quantity, her growing stomach pushes on her diaphragm making it a little bit more difficult to breathe. They did run blood tests on her anyway and they came back normal so that was a huge relief.

I also got to hold her for the first time on Thursday which was very nice for both of us. Research shows that babies that do skin-to-skin time with mom and dad do better in the NICU so we will be doing that as often as we can when she's stable. Neil and I both think she knows us now. We talk to her through her glass castle and she looks over toward us with big eyes. She is still growing well, although she is not quite at the 2 pound mark.

Thanks again for your support. It means a lot to both of us.

Little Saw Man

It's amazing how quickly you can fall in love with a child you have never held or one who has never looked at you. We fell hard for our baby Sawyer over the last couple of weeks and we will miss him so much. Last night, after difficult conversations with the doctors and each other, we decided we needed to let Sawyer go. It had become evident that he was not responding to antibiotics and that even if he did survive, he was likely to face serious long-term health impacts. He was very sick and suffering and we couldn't continue to put him through this. Although we know this is the right decision to make, it is obviously very difficult and sad.

We were with him and holding him when he passed away at 7:30pm. He put up quite a fight this week and we are proud of him. We hope that he is now in a better place and that his strength and vitality will live on in his sister, Zoe. Thank you to everyone for your prayers. We still have a long road ahead of us for our little girl and she needs all the positive energy we can muster.

We are obviously incredibly sad, but feel fortunate to have such a beautiful little girl (that the nurses nicknamed Smiley), wonderful friends, and amazing families that support and love us.

Two Weeks

Today got off to another rough start. We were called down to the hospital to check on Sawyer, who was struggling. When we got there, he had stabilized, but he is still so sick. The infection has control over his little body. They aren't able to culture anything, so the doctors are combating it by throwing random, strong antibiotics in his system. The first round didn't work, so they added more. He is filled with so many drugs, and we can only wait and see what happens.

We are asking tough questions and maintaining close contact with the doctors. They say they have seen kids sicker then him recover. We still have hope, but it is very difficult to look at something so precious going through what he is dealing with. We hope the near future has answers to many of our questions. We are trying to stay optimistic, but it is difficult when we see him going through this.

Zoe is doing well. She continues to put on weight and is very close to the two pound club. Margo and I are so happy for her.

We will try to keep you updated.

Another Day

Much is the same today. Sawyer is still fighting the infection with little ground being gained. The Neonatologist seems to have stepped up the intervention, and he has so many drugs being pumped through his little system. He shows some small signs of improvement, but these are many times followed by some bad news about something else. It is a wait and see thing. The next 24 hours are going to tell us a lot.

Zoe graduated to the next size diapers and pillow, used to support her when she sleeps on her tummy. Small gains, but we will take what we can get at this point. She is continuing to do well.

We will continue to post. Think good thoughts.

A Very Long Day

We just got home from a very long day at the hospital. We essentially waited for test results and any indication that the antibiotics were working. Earlier this evening, Sawyer's heart rate did go down and his blood gases looked better. The doctors are concerned that there may be some internal bleeding, but they haven't been able to locate any. In order to rule out a head bleed, Sawyer got another cranial ultrasound. This thankfully came back normal. He also is getting x-rays every 6 hours to check his GI system for internal bleeding. So far, things look o.k. but they will continue to monitor for bleeding.

Our little man is very sick, but when we left the hospital, things seemed to be a bit more stable. It's mainly a waiting game at this point. The antibiotics can take 24-48 hours to work so we will see what tonight and tomorrow bring.

Zoe continues to do well and weighed 1 lb 12 oz. tonight. Neil got to pick her up and helped weigh her. She seemed to like being held by her daddy. She had her big eyes open and was looking over in his direction. She was very alert and curious. We are looking forward to holding her soon - some kangaroo care time would be nice.

We will try to update you as soon as we know more about Sawyer's condition.

Set Back

This morning we got the phone call the we were dreading. The nurse told us that Sawyer has an infection. It pretty much has messed up his whole system. They do not know where it came from or how long he has had it. It could be something that survived the first round of antibiotics and now has grown. Anyway, he is on stronger antibiotics and way more support than he has had in the past. We are just hoping that the little man can pull through this.

The cardiologist talked with us about Zoe's tachycardia. I am even more confused after speaking with him. They are going to do more tests. Other than that, she is doing well. Her feeds are being increased regularly, and she is gaining weight. She is still on the CPAP and seems to be tolerating it. She does have fits when they take her off the machine and let her breathe as you and I do on room air without assistance. But this is to be expected.

The emotional roller coaster is intense. So many up and downs. It is quite the ride.

Thank you all for your support.

Day 12

Things have been a little quiet around here - Neil and I are just getting used to our routine. The babies are still doing well. They're eating really well and pretty soon will almost be up to their full feeds. They introduce food slowly so it doesn't overwhelm their systems too much. They are both getting EKGs tonight because they tend to run pretty high heart rates. The doctors haven't seemed too concerned about it so far, but we're glad they are looking into it. They were pretty high in utero too so it may just be them. Who knows.

We are not out of the woods by any means. The "honeymoon" period typically lasts for about two weeks and they early babies tend to get a little tired out and need some more assistance. Zoe and Sawyer seem to be a little more tired today, but that is to be expected - they are working very hard.

Thanks for your continued support and prayers.

One Day at a Time

Quite an eventful day for Sawyer. They tried him off the ventilator. He stayed on the CPAP (which is what Zoe's on - constant pressure mask) for about an hour today before being reintubated. It was a lot of work for our little guy and he made us very proud for the effort he put in. It's not unusual at all for him to not be quite ready to breathe all on his own yet. He needs to develop and grow a little more before he's ready for that. They'll probably wait about a week before they try again. The good thing is that he does really well on the ventilator with pretty minimal support. He burned a lot of energy working to breathe on his own today so he was really tuckered out after that. He lost a little bit of weight last night too but he had some great poops too. What our little guy needs is time to grow into his big personality.

Zoe put on some more weight last night and is almost back to her birth weight. She seems to be eating and resting well. She also has tolerated her care times well. We are just hoping that she continues to do so well.

Poopy Diapers

It is kind of weird to get excited about poop, but we are. Both have had blow outs that I changed. Margo has the amazing sense of awareness to check the diapers when there is nothing there. Poop is significant in that food is working its way through their systems. Zoe gained weight today, and Sawyer stayed about the same after two days of gains. The nurses said that they will gain weight for a day or two, then lose a little bit as it (poop) leaves their system. This all points to more positive signs that their systems are working and processing foods. We hope this continues and they are able to begin to pack on weight. We will keep you updated.

One Week

The first week has been a blur. It seems like yesterday that we were admitted to the hospital here. Zoe and Sawyer are about the same today, no major news. Zoe had a poopy diaper which means that her system is moving things through a little bit. Sawyer gained a little weight last night too which is great news. He's back to his birth weight now and we are just hoping that he continues the trend. They are very restful, getting used to life in their new homes.

The doctors tell us that the next couple of weeks will probably be full of ups and downs as they try to mature the babies along by testing them a little bit. We are trying to prepare ourselves for that and stay strong for our little ones.

They are so different. Zoe has a darker complexion and dark brown hair and Sawyer is pale pink with a speck of blonde hair on his head. We are patiently waiting to see who they resemble as they start to grow.

Thanks for all the prayers and love.

Zoe

Sawyer

Another Hurdle

The babes passed another large hurdle today. They had head ultrasounds that detects bleeding in the brain. The results came back normal. This is a huge accomplishment, and Margo and I are thrilled with the results. Both kids gained weight and keep amazing us with their progression thus far. Thanks for the support and keep thinking good thoughts.

Welcome to the World

Thank you for sending your love, prayers and positive thoughts to our two beautiful babies. We hope that this blog will keep you updated on their progress through the months ahead and we look forward to sharing our story with you.

We welcomed the twins into the world on Thursday, March 27th, 2008. After a very healthy pregnancy, I went into labor on Wednesday, March 26th, 14 weeks early. While the cause may never be fully understood, it's likely that there was a small leak in Zoe's amniotic sac either caused by an infection or simply a weak membrane.

Zoe Montgomery Young was born at 6:38pm, weighing 1 lb 9.8 oz. and measuring 12 inches long. Her brother, Sawyer Don Steven Young, followed quickly behind at 6:40pm weighing 1 lb 1 oz. and measuring 11.5 inches long.

The past five days have been a roller coaster. We are learning quickly the ins and outs of the neonatal intensive care unit at Swedish Hospital. The nurses and doctors are amazing, loving people. Neil and I participate as much as we can in their "cares" by taking their temperatures, changing diapers, and soothing them as much as possible.

Zoe is doing very well. After 2 days on a ventilator, they were able to take her off and put her on a CPAP. It basically means that she is breathing on her own, but just has some constant pressure to help get her more air with each breath. They started introducing small amounts of breast milk yesterday and she seems to be tolerating it so far. All of this obviously can change at any moment, but we are impressed with her progress thus far.

Sawyer is doing well too. He is smaller than his sister but shares her feisty personality and determination. He is still on the ventilator, but they will likely try to take him off in the next couple of days. He is also receiving breast milk and seems to be digesting it. We can't wait for him to be able to put on some weight.

A series of tests for them lie ahead in the next couple of days and weeks. Everyone tells us it's a step forward and two steps back so we are preparing ourselves for that. It is amazing how much we love these two already. They make us so proud.