A Parent's Bias

Isn't she cute? I know all parents think their kids are super cute and we are no different. We can stare for hours at her in her crib, just marveling at how cute and alert and amazing she is! Zoe is doing very well - almost like a different baby this time off of the vent. She tolerates her breaks off the mask very well, is requiring a low amount of oxygen, and is overall much stronger. We are still waiting for them to wean down the pressure on her CPAP in the hopes of getting her off CPAP altogether, but we know that we have to be patient. She still has a lot of growing to do. She weighs 3 pounds 10 ounces now and is consistently putting on weight each day. She's somewhat of a slow-grower, but we're hoping that she takes off here soon and really starts getting bigger.

She liked her bath yesterday. After a brief moment of mixed feelings, she settled into it and was super alert and happy the whole time. She should be getting baths about once a week now as she is more stable so we will look forward to that. It's one of the closest moments we can have with her and we treasure it.

It is harder to leave her nowadays. I think having her in a real crib instead of the incubator symbolizes one step closer to home - like she is more like our baby and less like the hospital's baby. I know it's going to get even harder as she gets stronger and bigger. Luckily, they put an anti-theft device on her ankle to ward off potential baby stealers! I think they mainly have to worry about me though.

Clean Baby

Bath Time

New Digs

Zoe TV

A New Bed

Zoe is now using an open crib instead of her old incubator. She is able to regulate her temperature better and is in the open air. The nurses also started dressing her. It was nice to walk into the familiar NICU and see Zoe in a new crib wearing a cute little outfit.


She is still on CPAP and seems to be doing pretty well with it this time around. We hope she continues to tolerate it, and they can lower her pressure setting. We will see what happens.

8 Weeks

Off the Vent

The doctors decided enough was enough with the vent and extubated Zoe on Sunday morning. She is doing well off the vent. We can tell that she is really happy to get that tube out of her throat, although it was replaced by the annoying CPAP on her face. She's getting so much stronger so she can really display just how unhappy she is with the situation. Her oxygen needs are lower than they have been in a while. Her chest xrays still show some partial collapse, so she still needs to grow new lung tissue to ensure she won't go back on the ventilator. We are hoping this was the last run-in with it, but we will see. It's all up to her.

A nice bonus of being off the ventilator is that we can hold her. I got some quality holding time today with her. She is so much bigger now than she was 3 weeks ago. It felt nice to have her in my arms again. She fell quickly asleep and rested soundly for over an hour with me.

A Step Backward

Sorry it has been a week since our last post! We know folks are anxiously awaiting an update. After an encouraging week, Zoe started struggling a bit more on her breathing and requiring more oxygen support. She was having more events where her oxygen saturation level was below where they like to see it. The doctors really wanted to keep her off the ventilator and tried hard to do so, but unfortunately, she just needed a vacation from all of her hard work on CPAP. They reintubated her on Sunday morning. At this point in the game, it was very hard to see her put back on the ventilator since it feels like a huge step backward. But I think we all have to remember that she is still 6 weeks away from her original due date so her lungs are just really immature still. She needs energy and time to grow and the ventilator should help her do that. They hope to take her off as soon as she starts showing signs of progress. This could be a week or a couple of weeks - depends on her. She has been gaining weight more now that she is on the ventilator and weighs 3 lbs. 4 oz. now. She is putting her energy into getting bigger instead of breathing so that is a good thing. She is still her lively, adorable, and inquisitive self and we just hope that her lungs repair themselves so she can be taken off the ventilator for good.

Finally!

Zoe finally made it to the 3 pound mark yesterday. We are so excited for this milestone. She is also now receiving bolus feeds; instead of a continuous drip, she gets her milk over a 15-30 minute period. She is tolerating this new system really well. It is more like a regular baby would eat so it makes us feel like we are just a little bit closer to having her home. She got her first bath today too! I could tell she was a little shocked by the whole experience, but I think she truly enjoyed it. She seemed a bit scared, but calmed right down when I talked to her. I got to soap her up, wash her hair, cuddle her, brush her hair - all without lines, leads, or tubes. It was amazing to see her detached from all of this stuff. She was wide awake for her bath, but fell soundly asleep once we got her tucked in. She smells much better.

She still has pretty high oxygen needs, but with time and growth, she'll grow new lung tissue and gradually be weaned off. We still have a long way to go, but being 7 weeks into this, we are getting our routine down. Zoe is so mellow and curious and loving; we just can't wait to get her home!

Kangaroo Care for Zoe

Days of our Lives

Thanks for the lift, Dad

My First Mother's Day

I believe in making the most of a difficult situation and so I held my baby girl for an hour and a half this morning, thoroughly enjoying my first Mother's Day. It obviously was not exactly how I pictured it but we had a good time nonetheless, thanks to her wonderful nurses. Zoe had a great day today. She even managed to take some time away to make me a card with her hand prints and foot prints on it. Very cute - she is already a thoughtful little girl. She lost some water weight this week, but is slowly starting to put on real weight and is back up to 2 lbs. 13 oz. We are anxiously waiting for the 3 lb. mark!

Ups and Downs

As you all know, this is a roller coaster of an experience. I think I've said before what an understatement that is. It's true - nothing can prepare you for it. Zoe's been off the ventilator for almost a week now and has her good days and her not so good days. She's got preemie lungs - lungs that are damaged from being so early and needing oxygen support. She'll grow more lung tissue, but it takes time and all that will really help her is growing. So, this past week, she has had her good days and bad days. Today was a good day and her oxygen needs were down slightly. She got her first eye exam today which she definitely did not like. They're checking for retinopathy of prematurity, which is essentially abnormal blood vessels growing on the retina. Everything looks o.k. so far, but her eyes are still immature so they'll check again in a couple of weeks.

Zoe looks amazing. She is alert and really getting a personality. She gets angry when we all mess with her which she typically displays by getting very red all over and making a seriously mad face. She doesn't cry much, but definitely shows her dissatisfaction in other ways. She has been processing food (a.k.a pooping) really well. In fact, today, she had four dirty diapers in a row!

She weighs about 2 lbs. 14 oz. now and we're hoping to get her to 3 lbs. soon. We can't wait to show her off to all of you, but we've got a long way to go. She really is amazing and we are so proud of her every day.

I'm Getting Bigger

5 Weeks, 1200 Grams